9 Jan YCAC Gents XV 48, Minporen 12

Tries: Jason Dunn (2) Yuji Sato (2) Ian Miller Rob Jee MIKE KING Kuri Cons: Fraser Jamieson (4)

It was a real clash of the Titans on Sunday afternoon when Mike King and Sushi went head-to-head as hookers. For clarification, we are not talking about competing for customers in Kannai (even if this explanation sounds a lot more likely). Sushi had nobly offered to play for 14-man Minporen, but what he gained in nobility was lacking in sensitivity: wearing shorts emblazened with the word “Tsunami”. Clearly, Sushi is a fan of Nazi Prince Harry: although whilst they both lack sensitivity, Sushi’s nobility and parenthood have never been called into question.
YCAC started at a cracking pace with tries from Ian “The Aussie” Miller and Rob “Surely 15 Is the Age Of Consent In Japan” Jee. YCAC then went off the boil as Scott Sizemore stamped on Rob Jee’s arm and gave away penalty after penalty by barging into Minporen players off the ball. When the referee politely indicated that off the ball barging was a penalty offence, Scottie cheerfully replied “I know, but I like cheating”. Well done Scottie, see if you can come up with a better explanation after walking back 10 metres. Yuji “2 is My Lucky Number” Sato was in inspired form and scored two tries. He was inspired by his girlfriend who turned up to watch, but she was definitely not the girlfriend who accompanied him home after Sushi’s party. Good to see that the Japanese lads know what it takes to become 1st Team Captain at YCAC.
Jason “Call Me Forest” Dunn rested himself for the first half and scored 2 tries in a blistering 5 minute spell at the start of the second half. Kuri also scored his mandatory try. But then we were treated to one of those surreal, out-of-body experiences that have to be seen to be believed: Mike King flinging his body at a ball bouncing over the opposition try line to score his first try for the Club in three seasons. Mike’s inspired performance was reminicent of Maradona’s manic but scintillating performance at the 1994 Soccer World Cup (and like Maradona, Mike’s body is bloating in similar fashion from week to week). Unfortunately, Mike’s performance on the pitch was not carried over to the bar where he lost miserably in the Man of the Match Competition to his Minporen counterpart. Presumably, choking on Golden Bagels stuck in his throat from previous years. For the last 10 minutes, a mad Dutchman and an English public schoolboy made cameo first time appearances in the YCAC second row. It was probably the most notable scrum in Gents history as they both bound on to the balls of the two prop forwards (Scottie + Dai) who simultaneously collapsed the scrum in agony. The mad Dutchman has made an early entry for the “Gents’ Tackle of the Year Award”: any man who can squeeze Scottie’s tackle and live to tell the tale deserves the award.

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    Opposition Results Dates
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    L29 – 0 Sat Aug 30th
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    L41 – 21 Sun Sept 28th
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    W40 – 27 Sun Oct 26th
    Taisei Reds (YC&AC ground) W18 – 17 Sun Nov 9th
    McFadyen Cup
    (YC&AC ground)
    W61 – 21 Sat Nov 22nd
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    L76 – 3 Sun Nov 30th
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    W96 – 0 Sat Dec 6th
    Mandara
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    L17 -10 Sun Dec 14th
    Acorn W62 - 7 Sun Mar 8th, 1.30pm
    Itochu Cancelled Sun Mar 15th, 1.30pm
    Over 35s Champs Sat Mar 21st
    56th YC&AC Japan Sevens Ryutsu Keizai University Sun Apr 12th