2 Feb 2008 – YCAC Gents vs Crusaders | YCAC 1sts vs Crusaders

YCAC Gents 54, Crusaders 2nds 27 (HT21-17), YCAC 1sts 55, Crusaders 0 (HT19-0)
Gents Match Report – Steve Lewis, 1sts Match Report – “anonymous”
Photographer – Kyoko Obayashi

YCAC Gents
Tries: Sandy Rose, Ryota Yashima, Matt Dimond, Kenji Redgloves, Nathan (2), Tristan, Masa Nozaki
Cons: Tristan (6), Nathan (1)

Following the best pre-match warm-up in YCAC’s history, you would expect all the boys to have loosened up ready for action. Unfortunately, one of Captain Fraser Jamieson’s muscles had hardened considerably and not even the pre-match toss had the desired effect. So a disconsolate Fraser limped off before kick-off and the Gents knew they would have their backs against the wall with their talisman no longer on the pitch.

The job facing the Gents was made tougher by the fact that the Crusaders could only raise a squad of 25 and so started the game with five Crusaders 1st Team players on the pitch. One such player who looked like a potential lock-partner for Mike “Massivo” King, picked up the ball from scrum half and raced 40 yards to score under the posts to put Crusaders 7-0 up with only a couple of minutes gone. In a ding-dong first half, the teams traded scores with fine tries for the Gents from Sandy Rose, Ryota Yashima and Matt Dimond. Many of you will remember Ryota as the referee who has handled the McFadyen Cup Matches so well over the past five years. Suffice it to say that when he is playing (as opposed to refereeing), he demonstrates all the qualities of a typical Aussie player: cheating, whinging and turning up late.

At the start of the second half, the game was still in the balance when Tristan “Turn Coat” Fahy contributed to the closest anyone has ever seen to an “own try” on a rugby pitch. Standing at the fly-half position behind his own try line, he contrived to drop the ball at his feet and watch helplessly while a Crusaders flanker dived to register the try. But this was the last of the good times for the Crusaders as the YCAC then took control of the match with tries from Kenji, Nathan, Tristan and Masa “No More Doughnuts for Me” Nozaki.

A special mention for Dean “I Play Anywhere In The Front Row” Stallard who made his debut in fine YCAC tradition by cheating on the pitch, cheating in the Man Of The Match drink off, having to dash from the train three stops before our destination for a p*ss break, being the first member of the side to leave the pub with a pretty Asian girl and then sending round an e-mail to lads on Monday morning to ask if anyone had found his mobile phone. Clearly, Dean is going to be a stellar member of the YCAC Front Row Union for years to come.

The Vicar

YCAC 1sts
Tries: Gavin Moolman, Steve Gray (2), Matt Creagh (3), Maui (2), Griffo
Cons: Ben Duncan (5)

“It was a blonde. A blonde to make a bishop kick a hole in a stained glass window.”
RAYMOND CHANDLER

Her name was Celia. It’s probably not her only name; she perhaps has scores of others – a stage name at the club (not the TAC, just in case you were wondering), a pet name with her parents, a proper name for the bank manager. But to the YCAC boys she will always be ‘our’ Celia – light of lives, fire of our loins, our sin, our soul.

How she arrived at Yamate to brighten our world and warm our bodies on that cold winter’s day has already passed into YCAC folklore – On the Thursday night before the match our President, Simon ‘The Legend of Yamate’ Ryan, was having a quiet drink in a Tokyo club (not the TAC, just in case you were wondering), when Celia approached him. Upon hearing that Celia was a former Estonian track and field representative our President employed the famous Ryan gift of the gab and quickly stitched up a deal to get the blonde beauty down to YCAC on Saturday to do the stretching for his unsuspecting troops.

The results were astounding. Tristan ‘I Go Both Ways’ Fahy promised to renounce forever any association with the Tokyo Crusaders if we could get Celia to do the stretching each week. Sias ‘Pot Heater’ Potgieter actually participated in the pre-match for the first time ever and even admitted there may be something in this whole ‘warming-up’ business. Our antics have even made it on to You Tube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jx8Z9ktYPOo. (Celia’s is the domineering Eastern European voice, not to be confused with the booming Kiwi accent of ‘Slow’ Joe Fisher telling Kyoko to put her camera away!)

(I suppose I should mention the game: A 55-0 thrashing. Complete forward dominance. An outrageous dummy on the wing to allow Gavin ‘Fitzy’ Moolman to open the scoring. Three tries to Man of the Match, Matt ‘Matty’ Creagh. Two tries apiece to Steve ‘Cuzzy Bro’ Gray and Maui ‘Apocolypto’ Magele. A final score to Mike ‘Griffo’ Griffin to finish things off – it’s been mentioned before that these Aussies like to keep their nicknames simple, hasn’t it? Some good kicking by Ben ‘Silver Fox’ Duncan.)

And then, just like that, she was gone. We came off the field eager to receive praise from our new trainer, but she had disappeared back to Tokyo, perhaps never to return. The last four days have been tough without her, but I know I’ll get through. I just keep going back to the words of Dr. Seuss: “Don’t cry because it’s over. Smile because it happened.”

Desperately Seeking Celia

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